Thursday, June 23, 2011

My Fertility (or Lack There of)

Fertility has constantly been on my mind for the past three years. My own fertility, or lack there of, to be exact. Some lucky couples have no trouble conceiving. We were not one of those couples. I always thought that we would decide to have a baby and bam, we would get pregnant right away. As usual, life is never how you think it will be.

Prior to being gifted with the beautiful lady baby, I had two ectopic pregnancies. Both happened in my right tube and both resulted in surgery. During the second surgery my whole tube had to be removed. I now like to call myself "One Tube Thea." My doctor was unable to determine the cause of my ectopics and we will probably never know. Besides that adventure in fertility, I also have low progesterone and to improve that I have to take clomid to conceive. Good times. Hello, mood swings, hot flashes, and bloating. Thank god the prize at the end is so amazing, because the process is tedious at best.

I feel like a huge percentage of people I know in their childbearing years have had trouble getting pregnant. A few weeks ago I was at the park with 5 other moms and four had been on fertility drugs at some point. Also, four had had at least one miscarriage. That really made me sit up and take notice. I am not alone in my struggles to get pregnant, so why did it so often feel like it? I think a big problem is that the subject of infertility is still very taboo in our society. Baby making is a very private affair and therefore getting help to baby make feels like it should be a secret too. There is also the factor that once people know you are trying, it becomes a constant barrage of questioning looks and glances at the belly. For someone who is less than svelte, I really didn't appreciate the latter. I have always been really open about our journey to parenthood in hopes that my story may help make someone else feel a little less alone. I understand the desire to keep the struggle private, but for me that made me feel like I was hiding something. Obviously it is hard to keep two surgeries a complete secret, but I didn't want to. Support made that time much easier. Hearing that other people went through really hard times and came out the other side as parents gave me hope.

I understand that a faction of people are never going to be comfortable talking about their baby having trials and tribulations. My wish is that no one is embarrassed about having fertility issues and that we  can all be honest about our struggles. Creating life shouldn't be taboo for goodness sake. It should be celebrated and supported.


  1. I love your honesty with which you write your posts. Being baby-making age myself, a lot of what you say rings true with me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences!

  2. We spent 4 years on those hot flashing, screaming, crying over a dirty glass drugs. I never got pregnant on them but later had several miscarriages before getting pregnant with our first daughter. Then I had the ectopic and lost my right tube after almost bleeding to death. A year later I was pregnant with our second daughter. It's a hard road but I've always been open and I think of the ones we lost almost every day.


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