Saturday, July 16, 2011

20 Things That Will Make You Feel Like a Better Parent

1. I let my child watch TV often and she REALLY loves it. It          makes us both happy.


2. She is often in the room when I am watching quality programming such as Bethanny Getting Married, General HospitalLaw and Order, and Tosh.O.


3. I pick her paci up off the floor and give it to her. (Even in public if I am desperate for her to be quiet. Don't freak out. I wipe it off first.)


4. I don't give her a fruit or veg at every meal. Sometimes she just carb loads.


5. I never remember to take her sippy of water anywhere. She is probably constantly thirsty which would explain why she hits me a lot.


6. I give her ibuprofen often because every time she is in a bad mood I think she is teething. Or if she can't sleep, or if she wakes up really early, or if she touches her face, or it she has the slightest drool. Teething. All teething.


7. I am as addicted to her having a paci as she is to using it.


8. I let her have blankets and toys in the crib.


9. I give her cookies to keep her quiet in the grocery store.


10. She only gets a bath every other day. Occasionally we go three days (gasp!) if she is not too dirty, we are out and about, we forget its bath night, or we are both feeling very lazy.


11On several occasions I have caught her eating a piece of cat or dog food. No telling how much she swallowed before I got to her. 


12. I let her eat food off the floor.


13. When the dog takes a bite of her mum mum, I think it is funny.


14. I have caught her eating paint chips on several occasions. (Now you know where the phrase "your kid eats paint chips" came from. Obviously my child is not the first to find them to be a tasty delicacy.)


15. The other day she got time out once and spanked twice, all in 10 minutes (See #14. I am trying to preserve braincells here people).


16. At restaurants I just throw her food on the table (I wipe it off first...sometimes). It annoys me when servers ask if I would like a plate. Wouldn't I just feed her on the one you brought if I wanted a plate??? I prefer for her to eat monkey-in-the-zoo style. Less chance of broken and/or thrown dishes.


17. I love the days she goes to preschool. Four whole hours to myself. I cannot wait for August.


18. It is an everyday occurrence to turn around while I am driving and see her munching on something she found in the crevices of her car seat. And I let her keep eating it. (In my defense it is always a goldfish/cracker/cookie type snack, never something like an old grape.)


19I only use anti-bac as a very last resort.


20She goes to bed often without brushed teeth, mostly because I forget.


21. BONUS: today at the children's museum I found her eating goldfish that she found somewhere, probably on the floor wedged in the corner of the wooden tunnel thing she was crawling through at the time.


Now, don't you all feel like better parents??? You're welcome. Have a great weekend.

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