Thursday, August 4, 2011

Friends. Glad to have you back.

Before Lady Baby I had some friends, but not many. And the ones I did have I never really hung out with. I was not putting myself out there and in return, I was lonely. Fast forward  9 mos and I was a new mom who was staying at home. All day. Alone. New plan time. Meet some other people and make some friends. Put myself out there on the friend market and hope someone, somewhere, wants to hang out.


I have always had a lot of friends. I went to a small high school with people I had literally known since preschool. We were friends because we always had been. I attended an all women's college and if you can't make a friend in that situation, well I really can't help you. Everywhere you turn is another young girl in the same situation you are in. So college friends, check. Then I traveled after college with my four best friends and we met a million new and exotic friends along the way. You can see the trend here. I have made lots of friends in my life. Then I got married and came to Greensboro. Crickets in the friend department. I knew lots of people, but only had a few friends, none that I felt like I could call up to shop or go to a movie. They were the type who I would go to dinner with every few months, normally with husbands too. No girls nights, no mani/pedi afternoons, no quick coffees. And I missed that. Why didn't I have any friends? Had I all of the sudden become unlovable and boring? No, the problem was I have never had to work to make friends and I didn't know how. I am used to other females being everywhere I turned, but that was not the case in a new town where all I did was work and go home to the hubs. People were not seeking me out to be their new bestie. Weird, right? 


Once Miss Priss was born I realized I had to get it together. I needed some girl support, stat. It didn't happen all of the sudden though. I had to do some work (gasp). I became better friends with a girl in my 'hood and she extended an invite to run in the mornings with some other ladies. Y'all know if I have to run to make some friends, I must be hard up. However, it was just what I needed. Not only did I lose some baby lb's, I met some other moms in the neighborhood who I really liked and had a lot in common with. Hmmm, I think that is what we call friends. Holy crap, I finally made some friends. After that ball got rolling (incidentally that is my description of me running) I started to realize that if I put myself out there, outside of the comfort zone of my living room, I will meet people. And meet people I did. I enrolled Her Highness in a music class and I have met some awesome people. I reconnected with other girls that I had known in my prebaby life and we bonded over motherhood. And now, I am no longer lonely. It worked and was virtually painless. Humph, I hate when the hubs is right. (That is giving credit where credit is due. Enjoy that my love. Doesn't happen often.)


I am happy to say that today I have a great group of friends. I have found them here, there and yon, and they have all welcomed me with open arms into their lives. What was I afraid of? I was afraid that no one wanted to be my friend. Also I was lazy, because I had never had to really try to find friends. They were always served up to me on a silver platter of circumstance. I had to get out there and hustle, as well as recognize my own worth as a friend. I am funny, so there is that, but I am also helpful, spontaneous, and a good listener (I know that one is a shock). All things others like in a friend.  


So, I apologize to anyone who attempted to befriend me during those dark days and I thank you for trying.  I also thank the few who stuck with it and stayed my friend, despite minimal effort on my part. Girls, I am trying now, I promise. Thanks also to all who I am friends with now. I appreciate the invites to do things, the introductions to your friends so that we can all be friends, and for those who want to be my friend, well, I have plenty room for more!!!

3 comments:

  1. This is a good post. You really do have to put yourself out there as a stay-at-home mom.

    I'm in Raleigh. I've not been on MomtoMom in awhile, but logged in today. Glad I did.

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  2. It is tough to find a network of friends, especially after having children. For me it has been even tougher because we moved away from the friends who I already had connections with. Definitely, embrace the ones that you have found.

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  3. I am blessed to call you my friend! What a great post :)

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