Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Baby Steps to Zen

I am a wee bit unorganized. JK. I am a way bit unorganized. Which is why.....drum roll....I have decided this is the year of organization. This is the year I get. it. together. I am tired of feeling like I am  barely surviving this tornado of an existence. I am here, I am there, I am under the table, I am on the roof. What I am not is calmly breathing and getting schmidt done. I have learned in my 32 years in this crazy life that part of my problem is that I am doing a little bit of everything, all at the same time. What I have decided I should be doing is more of less and actually finishing it. Confused yet? Dear lord, me too. No more of a little bit here, and a little bit there. I am going to start saying no to more and yes to what I really need to get do. I am donezo with wishing and talking about it. Instead I am taking steps to actually do it. I am officially getting organized about getting organized. 

However, if you can read Chinese and this
says something different blame Google.
Intrigued? Me too, my peeps. Me too. I have big ideas (per usual). I am hoping these ideas are going to make my life easier, instead of harder. I want to retrain my brain to focus on what is important and ignore what is not important. I am hoping if I can be more organized, I can be more zen. If I can be more zen, I can enjoy my life more. If I can enjoy my life more, I can be a better mom, wife and friend. See? Doesn't that make sense? Yes, I thought so to.

So, back to my goal (I am squeamish even saying the word. I hate it for reals. Instant pressure, thank you very much). I was venting to one of my friends about the stresses of motherhood and how it feels like I am constantly behind on all fronts. I went on and on about my need to get organized and all my big plans, and she made a good suggestion. Pace yourself. What? That is crazy talk. Why shouldn't I jump in with both feet? Then I can totally stress myself out about destressing and getting organized. Now you can see the problem. Okay, maybe she has a point there. New plan: I am going to take it slow. Then things seem more doable. If I say this month I am going to just organize my finances, that seems possible. If I say I am going to organize my money, my house, my work, my life and my yard, that seems a little more overwhelming. You dig? Therefore, I will listen to this wise friend of mine and take baby steps. It doesn't matter how fast I am getting it all together, it just matters that I am getting it all together. 

None of us are perfect. We are all works in progress. These days I feel more like a Picasso than a Monet. Instead of an ear here and a hand there with some crazy boxes in between that give the vague impression of a person, I want to be lots of colors and swirls that together make one big understandable picture. I will be a Monet if it kills me. Which it won't because I am pacing myself. Baby steps to zen. Baby steps to the new me. Baby stepping into making my life the way I want it to be. 

                                                     Less this                                   More this 


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