Sunday, April 15, 2012

Weddings: Continuing Ed for Married People

Last night I had the honor of attending the most beauteous wedding of one of my most favorite couples. There were gorgeous hot pink dresses, those paper lantern balls that make everything feel like a party from the Martha Stewart magazine, and a delish beef-wrapped-in-bacon situation that made me very glad I wore a not-tight dress. But it wasn't the free booze or the tiny quiches that I most enjoyed. It was watching two people radiate that glow of excitement that comes from knowing you are doing something really big and life changing. It was being able to feel the love when they looked at each other during their vows. Watching her cry walking down the aisle and seeing his smile that was beyond huge. Weddings are a beautiful expression of hope and love and serve as a reminder to those of us that have been married for a minute of how we felt the day we tied the knot. 

A few months ago I talked a little about our marriage here. When you have been married for 100 8 years, sometimes its hard to remember what that excitement felt like. Like when we are having a standoff about who is going to roll the trashcans in. Or when we can't agree on who's turn it is to change the poop diaper. Life rolls on, and everyday we get further away from the day we got married. We pay bills and eat dinner and argue about which show to watch. Married life it is not all slow dancing and sweet glances. When I am picking up dirty socks, the loveliness of our vows is not what I am thinking about. But then, we go to a wedding and it all comes back. The bride and groom, the vows, the kiss, the first dance. Each things takes me back to my own wedding. I vividly relive that amazing feeling of being wrapped up in all that love and excitement for the future. Attending a wedding is continuing ed for married folk. It is a way to be reminded of how we felt when everything was new and fresh and rosy. Before we bought a house, had a baby, bought another house, quit jobs and started other jobs. It seems like yesterday and so long ago, all at the same time. Life gets busy and we forget what it was like before it all got so complicated. 

Being married is hard. Once you are married, there is no more 'me'. There is only 'we'. Every decision made, whether it's which toilet paper to buy or which job to take, affects another person. That is a big deal. Once you have the kids, there are even more people who have to use that toilet paper. I am a true believer that it is not about the wedding day, it is about what happens everyday that follows. But the wedding is a hallmark day in a marriage. It is the first day, the precursor to all those other days. The actual marriage is filled with angry days, joyous days, and really sad days. Without that first day, we don't get to have any of the ones that come after. Seeing a couple share that first step reminds me of our own leap. I need that every once in a while. It makes me appreciate being married. I am reminded how far we have come and how much excitement we have to look forward to. 

Congrats Nathan and Steph and thanks for being a shining example of love for all of us that were there to share your special day.
This are not my friends, but it was same-same. Just imagine less medals and a shorter train.

In other news: The lovelies at Triad Moms on Main will be running one of my posts tomorrow. Please check it out and show some love! I will add a link tomorrow with the actual post.


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