Sunday, May 13, 2012

Moms that Make the Rest of Us Look Good

Doubting whether you are good mother this Mother's Day?  These movie moms will make you feel wayyyy better about your mothering abilities.

Footloose: What kind of mother moves her teen son to a city where music and dancing is illegal? Especially when said son has a rockin' tape collection and serious leg kicking abilites.

Star Wars: Seriously, you should tell your kids if their daddy is the biggest a-hole in the Empire. You could have at least left a letter pinned to their blankies. That is the kind of thing a kid needs to know.
A heads up for the twins would have been nice.

Home Alone: I don't care how busy you are. If you get all the way on the plane without one of your kids you suck.

Carrie: Some moms push their religious views a little too much. It's all fun and games until she loses it and catches the house on fire.

Back to the Future: Mom's shouldn't hit on their sons, even if he is from the future.

The Exorcist: If you hear scurrying in the attic move out immediately. It is so not vermin. If you don't, prepare to clean up a lot of green vomit.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Obvious favoritism. Poor Jeanie. It's no wonder she had all that plastic surgery later in life.
Jeanie before and after. If only Ferris hadn't been so high maintenance
the nose could have been saved.

The Graduate: Thanks for seducing one of my classmates Mom. Stay classy.

The Hangover: I don't care how much you like your new husband. If you have only known him for 12 hours you should not leave your baby in his closet while you run out for coffee.

Raising Arizona: No matter how bad you want to be a mama, it is not appropriate for your husband to steal someone else's. Even if they have a litter.

Sixteen Candles: Forgetting your daughter's 16th birthday is inexcusable. Seriously. Inexcusable.

Grey Gardens: If you are going to be a hoarding cat lady, fine. But don't make your daughter feel bad for wanting to move out. Just think, with her gone there's more room for you to fill with magazines and empty picture frames.
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be hoarders.

Dirty Dancing: Don't sit around not paying attention to anything that is happening with your kids and then all the sudden take credit for Baby's dancing skills. Not cool. Someone should put you in the corner.

The Lost Boys: I know you are lonely, but there have to be better guys in Santa Carla than the head vampire in town. Seriously, mom. Standards.

Steel Magnolias: Though she redeemed herself with the whole donating the kidney thing, it would have been nice for her to stop her daughter from picking the worlds most hideous bridesmaid's dresses.
Don't be distracted but the hawtness in the pink ascot situation. Direct your
attention to the disasters in a row behind him.

Black Swan: Laying out your grown daughter's clothes and taking her earrings out for her and treating her like she was 10 can possible damage her psyche. Who knew. 

You are welcome, ladies. Now go enjoy your handprint cards, pancake brunches, and coupon books of hugs and vacuuming.


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