Friday, July 13, 2012


I have decided to try to do little weekly wrap ups on Fridays over here at The Trap. I have three reasons: I feel like y'all might like to read something that is not my long winded blathering; so many little funny things happen that I never get to mention in regular posts; and Lady Baby is watching Bambi and it is giving me severe anxiety. Seriously Disney. Is this the best you can do? What about a little Cinderella or some Lion King. I will even take An American Tale. There we were, watching Doc McStuffins, coffee in my hand, milk in hers. And BAM. Bambi the sweet baby deer. Who gets orphaned and is forced to wander the forest alone with the name of a stripper. And she wants to watch it. Curses. I must have distraction now.


1. We are putting together Her Highness's big girl room. Therefore my house looks like a toddler's room EXPLODED everywhere. How can one person who doesn't even have any money amass so much crapola in two short years? I will probably do a before and after of this later.

2. Potty training is, well, going. Still having accidents. Some days none, others 4. Yesterday she told me she had to poop and trotted herself to the potty. She then stood between the regular toilet and her tiny toily and shadoobed up her panties. All the while squirting shampoo onto her hands and the floor. She has also peed on the couch, the rug, and her dad. That last one was the only one I didn't have to clean up. Yeah me.

3. Yesterday Lady Baby stepped in dog poop in her cute little white sandals. Which were left on the front porch after a cursory wipe/rinse by Hubs. When I took her outside to have a post-dinner Popsicles, she picked up the shoe. And. She. Licked it. Right where the poop was still all in the tread. Oh. My. God. She will probably need some sort of shot after that. 
This will obvs be on her sweet 16 gift.
4. Hold me. Bambi's mom just got shot. *sob* Thank the sweet Lord my child is busy making a card out of stickers for Dada. He can't find his mama. Cue the stress eating. I think I may have PTSD from being forced to watch Lassie once when I had friends over. 

5. We have started a new verbal chapter. To hold our attention Miss Priss launches into long monologues that involve words and phrases like "I remember," "I have an idea," "every time/all the time/everywhere," and "my grandparents." She usually also throws in a day of the week. It sounds something like this: "EVERYday my grandmutter plays pinano all the time. I remember, hmmmmm, next year I see Suzanne at the pool. Hey guys. I peepeed in potty. Don't have accident. Don't peepee on floor at vet. I love ALL my FRIENDs (insert sweeping arm gesture.)" Didn't you follow that? It is a bit like hanging out with a person who learned English from watching soap operas remixed with a crack head that has recently had a psychotic break. The phrases all make sense but have nothing to do with each other. It is, however, incredibly entertaining. 

6. Lady Baby ate 18 strawberries for dinner night before last. I still can't believe it . That is a whole pack.  I just want y'all know because it is crazy. 
I felt that you needed a visual. Srsly. That's a lot.
7. I am slowly doing a little blog maintenance. See the new tabs? Up there at the top of the page under my banner? I added in a little "about me" info. JIC you were interested in what makes me tic. You're welcome.


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