Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Summer of Change

Last night my sweet Lady Baby slept in her big girl bed for the first time. I cannot believe it. I do feel like it was a long time ago when she was an infant and colicky and only liked to sleep when someone was holding her. That seems like forever ago. But the rest of the time, the other 3/4's of her life has flown. She is now officially a big girl. Big girl panties, big girl bed, big girl attitude. 

Freeze frame to remember forever. Love those legs.
I am not one to bemoan my child growing up. I have said it here before, I am excited for each new stage. This one just got here so fast and it feels like a lot at once. This is the summer of change. She has run head on from being a toddler into being a little girl. I worry so often that I will forget what she was like as a baby. When we were at the beach, and I was watching her play, I tried to memorize every detail of what she looked like. I know that next year she will be totally different and this summer will be just a sketch of recollections, with some color photo memories showing through. But you can never truly remember every detail the way a parent wants to. It makes me sick I cannot remember so much of when she was tiny, and that was only 2 years ago. Just a little here and there, and that is mostly because we have so many pictures. I want to freeze frame each moment in time and file it away to look at later, when she has left the nest and taken on the world. I want to be able to pore over what her little chunk legs looked like in her bathing suit and the way her face looked when she saw her big girl bed. Maybe I will remember, but chances are, after we have one or two more kids, it will all blur and meld into one big fog of toddlers and life. 

I am so glad that I started this blog. I have written about so many things that would have been vague recollections. Having them here means that I can reread and remember. Also, someday Her Highness can read them and know what she was like as a baby, a toddler, and a girl. It is a gift to both of us. The human brain can only hold so much information. I wish there was a way to clean out some of the stuff I really don't need, like patients' names and every person I have ever seen in a movie. Then I could store and catalog every precious memory with my Lady Baby. Alas that is not how the noodle works, so I will have to be happy with pictures and blog posts.

There's my baby.
Last night when I was tucking her into her new bed, this is what I saw. Right when I think the baby part her has all but faded away, I see her snuggled into her blankie with her favorite paci. Just like she has slept every night of her life. And I realize that there is still a little bit of baby left in my girl. And I feel a little better, not quite so rushed. And I tuck her in and turn out the light, knowing that she is really not such a big girl just yet.


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