Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Turn of Phrase, Toddler Style

Time and time again I have talked about my child's verbal abilities. They are pretty amazing. Other things, like walking, took her a while to get down. We are still working on listening. But talking, that is her jam. She chats, she conversates, she monologues, she discusses. The things she tells us are often hilarious, at times profound, and often make zero sense. At different stages of her short little life, she has had phrases that she uses repeatedly. Ad nauseam, if you will. They start to wear thin, after the 7,000th time you hear them. 

I Fine. This was the first phrase she really understood how to use. She still rocks it. Constantly. The great thing for her is this can apply to any situation. It conveys her meaning while (in her mind) leaving zero room for discussion.
   Me: What do you want for breakfast/lunch/dinner?
    A: I fine.
   Me: It's time for bed.
    A: I fine.
   Me: Lets put on clothes so we can run errands.
    A: I fine.
   Me: Please go sit on the potty.
    A: I fine (cue peeing on the floor.)
So versatile. So final. So frustrating. So hard to argue with a two year old that she is in danger of being very "not fine" if she doesn't do what I ask.

Watch This. My least favorite because it often leads to possibilities of danger and bodily harm. It is normally followed by jumping on the bed, jumping on the couch, attempted somersaults, or flailing in the baby pool. These are relatively safe-ish. It is the visions of future Lady Baby, all grown up, saying "watch this" as she flings herself off cliffs, jumps cars on a motorcycle, and does that crazy downhill ski jumping that gives me palpitations and the cold sweats. I can only assume that is coming in the next 3 to 5 years. I see lots of helmets in our future. 

I just...This is the newest and most frustrating. When I say something like "Toodles please stop throwing tiny pieces of neon pink play-do into the dining room rug," her retort is "I just making something." Or "Don't put your hands in the toilet" and she says "I just washing them." No matter what follows "I just," it is going to enrage me. Time and time again, Her Highness has proved that whatever she is "just" doing is going to be the opposite of what I want/need/expect her to do. The worst part is the way she says it. With a certain tone and shoulder shrug, that implies my request is not only a mere suggestion, it is redonk that I would even bother her with it. *insert mommy head explosion here*

I am sure there will be more of these little nuggets the better her grasp on vocabulary becomes. I am sure she will come up with more phrases throughout her life that drive me crazy and make me want to lock her in her room, smack her with a newspaper, and or ground her for at least a whole year of highschool. Can't wait to see what she comes up with.

My head. This happens at some point everyday.


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