Tuesday, November 27, 2012

No Pockets, No Dice.

Who is thankful that Thanksgiving is over so we can all go back to being snarky and complaining??? ohmygawd me too. So, enough with the I love my family and coffee posts, back to how insane my child is making me.

True story from this morning:

Me: These are the three things you can choose from this morning to wear to school.
Her: No. NO. I want somethings with pockets.
Me: Here is the deal. You can wear whatever you want in this house. Shorts, pajamas, go naked. When you go to school, you may pick from what I show you.
Her: NO. *stomps foot and face screws up into a scary grimace/pout* I want POCKETS. 
Me: I am sorry, we don't have enough clothes with pockets for you to wear something with pockets every day.
Her: NONONONONO I need pockets, I just want something with pockets, IwanttohavepocketsEVERday. 
Me: No ma'am. Choose. This, this or this. You can pick out whatever leggings.
Her: I pick I pick I pick. *surprise attack bum rush, trying to push me out of the way while frantically grabbing at the clothes in the closet, screaming* 
Me: If you do that again you will go to time out and I will dress you there in what I pick out.
Her: *sobbing on the floor* The snowman dress. *sob sob sob*

Before everyone is all, "why don't you just let her pick," and "who cares what she wears," let me tell you something. My friend made a good point the other day. If I don't get control now and assert that I am ultimately in charge of her clothing options, how will I ever have any say about what she wears when she is 15? I am all for expressing oneself through clothes and letting kids have a say in what they wear. I don't want her to expect to walk out of the house looking like this: 
oh Miley, your clothing decisions and
your music are both lacking.
So, I am flexing my clothes muscles now.  I am not being unreasonable. I don't really even care if they match. I have no problem with her putting a tutu on over it. I am not forcing her to wear things that are uncomfortable or ridiculous. 98% of her clothes are knit and stretchy, for the love of all things comfortable. We should all be so lucky as to be able to wear super tight leggings over chunky thighs and a tacky shirt with Minnie and Mickey that is slightly too short and have people say we are adorable. You do that mess when you are grown and you end up on the "People of Walmart" website. Do it at three and you are cute and "expressing yourself." No one is telling me I am hilarious when I have on yoga pants with a hole and a shirt that is stained and a far cry from matching. No One. You need to appreciate that, gurlfren. Normally, she constantly wants something with pockets and/or a tutu skirt. Sparkles, sequins, and ruffles are an added bonus. And of course, it can be nothing that I even hint at suggesting. Like, I can't even accidentally look toward it in the closet or let my hand graze it. Cause if I like it, it must be terrible.

Up until now, I have had two rules: weather appropriate and clean. The "once it is in the laundry basket it stays in the laundry basket" rule has had to be enforced in a big way. Then I realized that there were a ton of clothes in the closet that are not getting worn. And that kills me. Cute clothes. Name brand clothes. Brand new clothes. That, coupled with the wake up call that it is easier to pound them into clothes submission sooner rather than later, I decided it was time to take charge. Not to mention, every morning there is crying and sobbing and gnashing of teeth over what to wear. And I am over it. So, today I started the new regime and it was met with not a small amount of protest and dissidence. But I will press on, and say a prayer to the gods of pockets, that tomorrow will be easier.

As soon as she got home today she made a bee line for her room. She came out with her ladybug shorts with pockets and her ladybug sundress in her hand. I started to say something, then I remember our deal. Outside the house, I have a say. Inside, it is all Lady Baby. So off came the cute winter dress and on went the sundress, backwards of course. But she was SO HAPPY. So it will continue to be Badger's choice in the home. Tutus at nap and shorts when it is snowing and sundresses 24/7. 
before   and   after

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I am Thankful for...Friends

I have always felt very lucky to have wonderful friends in my life. Some of y'all are far. Some of y'all are near. You are all important to me no matter where you are or how long it has been since we last spoke. Without you I would be lonely and sad. No one likes a sad T. She is so depressing. I am lucky enough to see some of you everyday, some I don't get to see near enough, and others I will probably never see again. That doesn't change how I feel about the part you have played in helping me to be a better person and a better friend.

For the ones who are not near but I talk to all the time that listen and understand and are my sounding boards, thankful.

For the ones who are near, who I see all the time, who go with me to the movies, and to girl's nights, and sit on porches and talk, thankful.

For the ones who I don't talk to often, but when I do it is as if nary a minute has passed since we were last together, thankful.

For the ones who have taught me how to be a better mother, eased my mommy guilt, and paved the way before me with passionate children, thankful.

For the ones who I have not seen or talked to in years, but we have wonderful memories that I will always carry with me, thankful.

For the ones who have welcomed me into your lives, your families, and your hearts, thankful.

For the ones who I have never met but support me over the interwebs and are amazing cheerleaders, thankful.

For the ones who are always there when ever we need them to lend a hand or watch Her Highness or help us make a big decision, thankful.

For a few years between getting married and having Lady Baby, I wasn't being an active friend to much of anyone. It was one of the lower times in my life. Looking back on it, I know it was because I lacked something very essential to my very being. Friends. I am thankful for the ones that I found that helped me discover a place to call home and for the ones that helped me through my funk from afar. Thankful, so very very thankful, for you all. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all from The Lint Trap. I hope you all have wonderful people and things in your life to be thankful for. 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

I am Thankful for...The Inlaws

Today I am thankful for...Hub's family. He also comes for a plain old family of four, one girl one boy, like I do. Straight up Norman Rockwell stuff. His parents are the two most giving and generous people I have ever met. Their hearts are huge, and I am so thankful that they love us so much. Even though they are many hours away, we can count them more than a lot of people who have parents in town. They are also the two most organized and efficient people that ever walked the earth and I feel that it can only benefit me to be around that.

I am also incredibly thankful that they raised Hubs to be the ah-maze-ing guy is he is today. I can only imagine how strong willed he was as a wee little dude. (Considering Lady Baby's passion, I know a little of what they went through.) His family wore him down some before I ever got to him. One of the very first times I met his mom she grabbed my hand and said, "he is NEVER going to change." That was only slightly shocking to hear from my new boyfriend's mom while we were standing in the upstairs hall of his frat house while he showed his Dad how awesome his loft was.  I was all, "oh my god he is always going to wait until last minute to make plans and he is never going to take me anywhere nicer than Miami Subs." I didn't really understand that she meant at his very core he would always be strong willed and set in his ways and a devil's advocate. And she was right. That was the very first in a long and distinguished relationship of her giving me advice on how to deal with the strong willed husband (oh my god, book idea. no one steal that.) Had his parents not had the first 18 years of his life to get to know his quirks, there would be no one to help me navigate the waters of "I am the only one who knows anything ever on the whole earth." And that is a choppy sea people.

Hubs also has a sister who I am lucky enough to also call friend. We truly enjoy each other's company and can literally talk for hours. She has paved the way with strong willed little girls (her daughter is also one of great passion) so it is nice to have someone who has been there and done that. We genuinely enjoy spending time with her and her family and it is awesome that we have had kids close together. 

Thankful thankful thankful. Thankful for family who I was lucky enough to marry into and they let me stick around. Thankful that they don't make me feel bad for operating on a slightly different wave length (mine is a little more chaotic and unorganized). Thankful that I have these people who are very different than me but accept me into their family with all of my quirks.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I am Thankful for...My Family

I have missed a few days of Thanks. The blame goes squarely on my sinuses who have been conspiring to kill me since late last week. But I am back, and that is what is important. T-Nice 1, Sinuses 0. 

So, back to being Thankful. Today I am thankful for having an amazing family. Not the usual suspects, Hubs and LadyBaby. Enough about them already. I am talking about Mom, Dad, Brother and Sister-in-Law. Cause they are the best. 

Let's break this thing down:

Dad: He is the person who can solve any problem, fix anything, and give the most honest answers in the world.  He will tell you straight up what he thinks. Be prepared though, he doesn't sugarcoat. Many times when I wasn't sure which road to take, he has helped me find my way. He is also really funny and we share a great love of laughing. We also share a love of the finer things in life: books, movies, coffee, and food. I get my sense of humor from him and for that I will always be grateful.

Mom: She is the great organizer. A beautiful and giving heart, she spends her entire year thinking about buying Christmas gifts. The Entire Year. If that is not thoughtful, I don't know what is. When I was little I wanted us to be the next Judds and I promised her I would never move out. While neither of those things happened, we do have a great relationship.We talk everyday. My dad insists the things we discuss are not worthy of the time we spend on them, but we know better. She is an amazing listener and sounding board.

Brother: My partner in crime. I have talked about how much having him as a brother rocks here. We come from the same place and understand each other. We also think we are really funny so we spend a lot of time laughing. Even when no one else is. Whatevs, their humor is not as advanced as ours. He can be a bit excitable, but that works in my favor because it makes me look like the calm one. Always the life of the party, he is the most charismatic person I know. I should also say a bit of thanks for breaking in the parentals before me. Definitely made my life easier to have him go first.

Sister-in-Law: She is the beautiful reason that my brother will not die a dirty old man. And for that we thank you. She is also the most perfect addition to our family--she brings calm to our storm, quiet to our very loud, and height to our gene pool. When I grow up I want to be Sarah...gorgeous hair, amazing figure and calming presence. I am afraid the ship has already sailed on all three, but a girl can dream. If not for Sarah's peaceful calm, I think my brother's head would have blown off a thousand times in the past several years.  So thank you for keeping his head and body connected.

These are my peeps. No matter where we are, when we are together that is home. I am lucky and thankful to actually like all of them too. They have given me direction when I was lost, made me laugh when I was crying, Tickled me 'til I peed, and taught me what it means to be part of something bigger than myself. For all of this and a million things more, I am thankful.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

I am Thankful for...Quiet and Calm

Today I am thankful for Peace. Quiet. Calm. Being in the Manor alone with just the TV, computer, my work, and the dog laying on the floor. Lady Baby and Hubs went to the park and to run errands and I am here. Alone. Ahhhhh....

That is a beautiful thing and I am very, very Thankful.

View from the couch. And yes, that is General Hospital.
Don't judge, it is my jam. Also please don't judge the mess.
It was a long morning waiting for Daddy to get home from running.
Who am I kidding, it always looks like that. 

Friday, November 9, 2012

I am Thankful for...Sweet Nectar of Life

Today I am thankful for coffee. 

In my favorite mug with famous writers on it. That I want to somehow photo shop myself onto someday. Except I don't have photoshop nor do I think it works on already existing mugs. 

It is so yummy and makes me happy. 

It is there for me when I need it most. Which is every morning of every day of my life.

It only lets me down when I forget to dump out yesterday's from the coffee pot and the new pot runs everywhere on my easily stained butcher block counters. (My coffee pot is metal, before you think I am total train wreck who can't see through glass.) 

Coffee, you are the sweet nectar of my life, and for that I am thankful. XO

For other things I am thankful for, click here and here. Not to worry, I did my family first. Though somedays the coffee falls above them on the list, I didn't want to give them a complex.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I am Thankful For...The One Who Does Bedtime

Part 2 of my touching and beautiful Thanksgiving posts...
(Here is part one if you missed it.)

Today I am thankful for...My dearest one true love, The Hubs. He is the yin to my yang, the peas to my carrots, the flip to my flop. We are perfectly opposite and that makes us perfectly perfect. Right now, I am exceptionally thankful that he does a lot of the bedtime prep and stage one of the bedtime process. By that time of day I am d-o-n-e done and am so thankful to have a partner in crime to wrangle Lady Baby in and out of the bath, into pee-joms, and into bed. I just don't have it in me most nights. 

Normally our evening goes something like this: 
  • Hubs comes home
  • Hubs plays with child while secretly staring at his phone to lurk on Facebook and read Huffpost. I finish dinner.
  • We eat, which consists of saying "get back in your chair" 7,962 times. We take turns for that part.
  • Hubs bathes child/gets her ready for bed.
  • She has milk, watches a little educational for learning only TV (Curious George b/c the are in 15 in increments which is genius).
  • He does bed and story number one.
  • I am the closer, so I do story two, sing a few songs, and say good night.
  • Hubs is already under a blanket laying on the couch. He picks the show from the DVR list and we start to watch.
Lest we not pretend that it is all wine and roses and folded laundry over here at the Manor, there is the occasional skerfuffle. The let's-watch-TV-together-and-then-I-will-fall-asleep-and-snore-loudly-and-force-you-to-watch-situational-comedies-and-laugh-alone is a reoccurring one for us. You know that fight, no?

Now that Hubs is a runner and gets up in the middle of the night (4:45am) to exercise with his running club (there are apparently a lot of people who like to run in the middle of the night when normal people are sleeping) he tends to get sleepy early. Like 8pm early. Therefore after he pulls his shift with Her Highness and then slips into a coma on our couch while I am forced to guffaw at New Girl or Modern Family alone. And that is just not fun.

But, I will take the snarfling on the couch and whiny refusal to go to bed if that means he will continue to get the child into her bed. Because I just can't do it, Captain. I hate bath time, all we do is fight about her refusal to lean back and my repeated offense of getting water in her eyes. Then we fight trying to get the pee-joms on because she insists on picking them out, which I don't care about, and insists on putting them on, which is fine too, but then she cries because she gets stuck in them or they are too tight, or they are too hot. Back to the drawing board. By the time we get to actual getting into the bed, I am ready to punch a hole in the wall. So hubs does it and makes it fun and is very tolerant of the child's shenanigans. Thankful. Thankful thankful thankful.

I am thankful for a million other big and tiny things that Hubs does. 
I am thankful that he puts up with my, ahem, idiosyncrasies.
I am thankful that he works hard.
I am thankful that he is happy for me to have girl's nights, and weekends, and dinner's out.
I am thankful that he loves our Lady baby so much and that he is such an amazing dad.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I am Thankful For...My Crazy Turkey

New series for November...What I am Thankful For. I keep reading all of the posts people are doing on Facebook and they are all so beautiful and touching and lovely. So I thought maybe I should do a little something like that here. So y'all can be impressed how touching and lovely I am.

Today I am thankful for my Lady Baby. She knows that I am soft and tend toward the lazy. She makes sure that will NEVER happen while she lives and breathes. She makes sure that I am never complacent in my parenting. She pushes me in every way so that I can grow as a person. She drives my wits to the outer reaches of infinty. Right up to where I am about to fall of the cliffs of insanity. Then she yanks me back, pleased that she helped me really stretch past what I thought possible, even for the Dalai Llama or Mother Theresa. 
The turkey that never takes a rest. Ever.
"Gobble Gobble, fools."
So thank you, my Turkey, for showing me just how far I can go without needing to be physically restrained in a straight jacket and installed permanently in my own padded room. I am thankful that she reminds me daily that she is ultimately in charge of every minute of my day, including bathroom time, while I am sleeping, and while driving. I am thankful that she will not allow me to get too comfortable in my job as her mom, and will always keep me on the edge of my seat with her shenanigans and antics. My little turkey. 

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Stand for Something on Tuesday

As parents we are busy. We are tired. It is often hard to care about anything more than what is happening in our house, with our own family.  I understand that at times it is easier to ignore the world around us and push through with our heads down. But now is not that time. Now it is time to find our passion. Tuesday is our chance as parents, as keepers of the kingdom for the next generation, to help choose the path that our nation will take for our children's lives. We must take a stand for what we think will be the best for them. 

I am not going to tell you who to vote for. I am passionate about my beliefs. If you know me in the reals or talk to me for five minutes, you will figure out which way my bread is buttered. But, as I have said before, y'all don't come here to hear what I think about politics. You do come here to read my ramblings, and for that I am thankful and appreciative. So let me take a second to tell you how strongly I believe that it is our responsibility to care. It is our responsibility to help guide the direction of our country. It is our responsibility to show our children that every vote counts.

If you can, take your kids with you to vote. Explain to them why you are voting for the people you are voting for. Tell them how you made up your mind. Explain that someday it will be their responsibility to make up their own mind about who to vote for. Explain that sometimes friends and neighbors and families don't always agree on who to vote for, and that is okay. It is what makes being American great. We can say what we think and be who we want to be. We each are gifted a vote to help decide the direction our country takes. It is an empowering and awesome responsibility. To not use that vote is irresponsible as citizens and parents. 

As parents we cannot afford to be apathetic. We cannot give up or stick our head in the sand. We cannot pretend that it doesn't matter.  Because it does matter. Choose to care. Find something that matters to you. Education, health care, taxes, employment. No matter what you decide to champion, it will have an effect on your children's lives. Vote to make their lives better. Vote to show them that it is important to be passionate and take a stand. 

It is the right thing to do as an American, but more importantly, as a parent. We must work to make the world the place we want to leave our children. If we don't, who will?

Stand for something. Go vote.

To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there. --Kofi Annan


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