Tuesday, November 27, 2012

No Pockets, No Dice.

Who is thankful that Thanksgiving is over so we can all go back to being snarky and complaining??? ohmygawd me too. So, enough with the I love my family and coffee posts, back to how insane my child is making me.

True story from this morning:

Me: These are the three things you can choose from this morning to wear to school.
Her: No. NO. I want somethings with pockets.
Me: Here is the deal. You can wear whatever you want in this house. Shorts, pajamas, go naked. When you go to school, you may pick from what I show you.
Her: NO. *stomps foot and face screws up into a scary grimace/pout* I want POCKETS. 
Me: I am sorry, we don't have enough clothes with pockets for you to wear something with pockets every day.
Her: NONONONONO I need pockets, I just want something with pockets, IwanttohavepocketsEVERday. 
Me: No ma'am. Choose. This, this or this. You can pick out whatever leggings.
Her: I pick I pick I pick. *surprise attack bum rush, trying to push me out of the way while frantically grabbing at the clothes in the closet, screaming* 
Me: If you do that again you will go to time out and I will dress you there in what I pick out.
Her: *sobbing on the floor* The snowman dress. *sob sob sob*

Before everyone is all, "why don't you just let her pick," and "who cares what she wears," let me tell you something. My friend made a good point the other day. If I don't get control now and assert that I am ultimately in charge of her clothing options, how will I ever have any say about what she wears when she is 15? I am all for expressing oneself through clothes and letting kids have a say in what they wear. I don't want her to expect to walk out of the house looking like this: 
oh Miley, your clothing decisions and
your music are both lacking.
So, I am flexing my clothes muscles now.  I am not being unreasonable. I don't really even care if they match. I have no problem with her putting a tutu on over it. I am not forcing her to wear things that are uncomfortable or ridiculous. 98% of her clothes are knit and stretchy, for the love of all things comfortable. We should all be so lucky as to be able to wear super tight leggings over chunky thighs and a tacky shirt with Minnie and Mickey that is slightly too short and have people say we are adorable. You do that mess when you are grown and you end up on the "People of Walmart" website. Do it at three and you are cute and "expressing yourself." No one is telling me I am hilarious when I have on yoga pants with a hole and a shirt that is stained and a far cry from matching. No One. You need to appreciate that, gurlfren. Normally, she constantly wants something with pockets and/or a tutu skirt. Sparkles, sequins, and ruffles are an added bonus. And of course, it can be nothing that I even hint at suggesting. Like, I can't even accidentally look toward it in the closet or let my hand graze it. Cause if I like it, it must be terrible.

Up until now, I have had two rules: weather appropriate and clean. The "once it is in the laundry basket it stays in the laundry basket" rule has had to be enforced in a big way. Then I realized that there were a ton of clothes in the closet that are not getting worn. And that kills me. Cute clothes. Name brand clothes. Brand new clothes. That, coupled with the wake up call that it is easier to pound them into clothes submission sooner rather than later, I decided it was time to take charge. Not to mention, every morning there is crying and sobbing and gnashing of teeth over what to wear. And I am over it. So, today I started the new regime and it was met with not a small amount of protest and dissidence. But I will press on, and say a prayer to the gods of pockets, that tomorrow will be easier.

As soon as she got home today she made a bee line for her room. She came out with her ladybug shorts with pockets and her ladybug sundress in her hand. I started to say something, then I remember our deal. Outside the house, I have a say. Inside, it is all Lady Baby. So off came the cute winter dress and on went the sundress, backwards of course. But she was SO HAPPY. So it will continue to be Badger's choice in the home. Tutus at nap and shorts when it is snowing and sundresses 24/7. 
before   and   after


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