Thursday, December 13, 2012

Stop Hatin' on the Elf

An Open Letter to Elf Haters...

Of late there has been a lot of hating on the parents who go all out for the Elf on the Shelf. I would like to start this off be saying that our elf, Ellie, is a bit of an underachiever  This is due mostly to the fact that just moving her from the mantel, to the Christmas tree, to the window sill, is enough to blow the mind of an almost three year old. I do, however, throw mad props to those who do a nightly amazing elf tableau.  You are amazeballs parents and I'm here to give you the props you so deserve. I look forward to Ellie making Flour angels and pooping m&m's and playing cards with an Ariel who has had her hair cut by an enthusiast 4 year old. It's called fun, jerks. Get on board or shut your sugar cookie hole.

There is something magical about Christmas. There is something even more magical about sharing Christmas with children. They believe. And there is awe. And there is amazement. There is  faith and trust that Santa is coming and that he does great things. Kids are filled with the wonder of the holidays. Let's let them be. Let's feed that part of their little souls. There is so little mystery left in this world. But what is still around is the magic of Santa. And there is NOTHING wrong with embracing that.

Parents everywhere are criticised for not "parenting" enough. They let their kids watch too much TV or play their with iPads too much. They don't take them to the park enough or read to them often enough or teach them a foreign language. But let some parents work hard to share the magic of Christmas with their kids, and lets stone them all. Shame on you judgers, I say. These moms and dads are doing something fun and special for their kids. Boooo. You obviously can't win, people.

I have heard rumblings that parents don't like to use the elf to make their kids behave. In my world, anything that I can use at any time in any situation to make Lady Baby behave is a win. She is even more of a Honey Badger now that she is being pumped full of chocolate and candy canes and talk of PRESENTS (shriek shriek squee shriek). If a tiny elf with a 90's Winona pixie cut and a snappy collector's edition elf skirt keeps my child from coloring on the couch with a marker, then I will take it. Happily. I know my child  She is not intrinsically well behaved. The elf is helping with what could be the most unbearable time of the year due to unbridled sugar induced passion. Thank you Ellie. You presence is appreciated.

We tell our children to believe in Santa. We ask them to be good to get gifts. The Elf is proof to them that Santa is watching. Imagine being a 5 year old and waking up each morning of the holiday season, eager to discover what shenanigans our elf has gotten into. That is called making traditions. As adults we treasure our memories of Christmas' past. I remember reading the Santa Claus book with my dad by the Christmas tree, the one that explained where Santa came from. And leaving notes for Santa with my brother, asking him to write back to us so we would have proof he existed. Our kids are going to have memories of all the crazy things their elves did. And once they are parents  they will appreciate the memories even more because they will know how hard their parents worked to preserve the magic around Santa for just a little longer.

SO. Quit hatin'. You don't have to participate with the Elf or you can half ass it like we are. But throw some respect toward the hard working mamas and daddies who are staying up late to do something special for their kids. They are using their hard earned quiet late night moments to dig the Barbie car out of the toy box or arranging a tea party with some pokemon's and a hello kitty bobble head. I say RESPECT and good job. Y'all all should too.

Go get your elf on,

Ellie, you minx. Why don't you make an effort?


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