Then we go on vacation and we enter the anything goes mode and she sleeps where she wants, as long as she will sleep. By anywhere she wants, I mean our bed or her crib. I do not let my beautiful flower sleep on train tracks or in bear caves. This started because on most of our vacations she sleeps in our room in her pack in play. Therefore, if she wakes in the night and sees us asleep across the room, she can only assume that we should all hang out. She is all, "you are here, I am here. Lets have a tickle party and sing Bye Bye Black Sheep super loud. Then I will poke your eyelids and say your name repeatedly. This is going to be super fun." But its not super fun. It is super awful. When she is in our bed she cannot settle. There are covers and extra people to chat with and pillows. All things that interfere with sleeping when you are two and used to a crib. She flails and flops and flings her hair and sighs. It is super active sleeping and it is all up in my space. My space. Mine. Not hubs. MINE. Then, sometimes she decides that balled up white blankie is not a good enough pillow and the she wants to use another pillow. AKA, my pillows. So then she slams her little hard head upon my bosom and I cry out silently, because if I do it aloud she will take that as an invitation to strike up a conversation about octagons. So I silent scream and slide her down so she is draped awkwardly upon my midsection. If she resists, then I slide her up and she ends up jammed up under my chin. Then I go to half-sleep with the inability to yawn and baby hair all up my nose. Good times. Not good sleep.
|This was the calmest part of the family |
cosleep experience. Of course, it was
after I got up. Grrrrrrr.
Had the child slept in her peapod per the initial plan, there would still have been the busted mattress and the freezy temps. However, getting her in there was a bit like putting a cat in a bag. If the cat could sob and say "mommy mommy please please, I get out." Instead we went three deep and I didn't sleep so great. Translation=I was awake more than I was asleep. However, opening my eyes and seeing the most sweetest sleeping angel's little face an inch from mine made it worth it. All the punches, all the mouths full of hair, all the cover kicking. I love those early snuggles when everyone is still half asleep. She burrows in between us and puts her hand in my hand or rubs her daddy's arm. It is all so peaceful and calm. I suspect people that cosleep have this experience often. I am a little jealous that they get to wake often to a smiling baby face. They get to see their loves go to sleep and wake up. They get to watch them dream and hold them during a nightmare. I think that part of it is beautiful and lovely. However, I cannot imagine sharing my 8 hours every night. I love her more than life, but I do not love sleeping with her. All the cuddles in the world do not make up for lost sleep. Mommy and daughter both need our own space. I do not feel guilty that she went in her own crib at 5 days and has only spent a handful of nights in our bed. I do not worry that she feels unloved or lonely. I do not think I have missed crucial bonding. Others can do what they want, but cosleeping is not in my family's best interest. Mommy needs to sleep without midnight serenades and karate chops to the sternum. At this point hubs is lucky I let him share the bed. I will just have to enjoy those early morning Lady Baby snuggles when we are out of town. Just another reason for me to enjoy our time together on vacation!