Friday, May 3, 2013

Are We All Still in High School? Maybe A Little Bit.

(I know, I know. MIA yet again for awhile. Sorry my lovely friends. I am swamped with life and have lots going on...but more on that later...for now, a new post!)

I recently read an article that claimed our personality, who we areas a person, is solidified in high school. Do we all agree with that? Am I the exact same person that I was then, on a most basic level? I know every time I hear Counting Crows I am 16 again, sneaking a cigarette before Young Life. I mean, I would like to think I have “grown.” More centered and calm. More self-assured. Less worried about what people think about me. But sometimes, on a bad day, I am still that young girl sitting in my room wishing I was skinnier, taller, smarter, hotter, or cooler. 

I will be the first to admit that I loved high school. I had lots of friends, was on the soccer and swim teams (mediocre athlete but lots of enthusiasm), went to parties, made good grades, and teachers liked me. I was on Homecoming Court, I was the Prom Queen, and my senior superlative was Best Personality. But I was also the only one of my friends who never really had a boyfriend, definitely not one that was older and/or long term, like the girls I ran around with. I was the eternal wing man to my girlfriends, always the buddy to the guys. I once had a friend tell me her boyfriend thought I was a lesbian. I had an eating disorder. I was in therapy. I was constantly worried about everything. My life wasn't perfect then and it's not perfect now. 
This just in: This shirt was probably one of
the reason I wasn't getting any dates. Not to
mention I need some bangs, stat.
I wonder how y'all feel. Are you still that person you were, sitting in the parking lot after school with friends or throwing yourself into homework in hopes of getting into a great college or feeling left out of the cool crowd when you overhear other people talking about a party? Do you now hate the music that played on the way to school? Or are you nostalgic like me? 
Class of '97 Baby. I think our class song was
 "I Believe I Can Fly."  R Kelly is so inspiring.

It is funny how most of us identify “our era” as what was popular when we were high school. One evening last summer my friend and I were the two moms in tankinis at the pool rocking to the 90’s station while wee 15 year olds stared, promising each other that they would never be old. But hearing those songs, I was back at the lake in a two piece, drinking beer and talking about boys. I still judge everyone’s age by the year they graduated from high school (I was class of ’97). I still love Birkenstocks and 90210. I suppose my coming of age years are more ingrained in me than I thought.
Finally figured out how to dress like a girl.
And throw on a little makeup. You are
welcome, world.
I know that I am different than I was back then. I am calmer. I worry less about little things and choose to focus on things I can change. I strive to love myself for who I am and not what I am. I think we all take parts of who we were in our teens, and go from there. But hopefully we can all be more than who we were then. Except that I still wear Birks and dance when Regulator comes on. Cause, let's be honest. They are both really awesome.


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