I recently read an article that claimed our personality, who we areas a person, is solidified in high school. Do we all agree with
that? Am I the exact same person that I was then, on a most basic level? I know
every time I hear Counting Crows I am 16 again, sneaking a cigarette before
Young Life. I mean, I would like to think I have “grown.” More centered
and calm. More self-assured. Less worried about what people think about me. But
sometimes, on a bad day, I am still that young girl sitting in my room wishing
I was skinnier, taller, smarter, hotter, or cooler.
I will be the first to admit that I loved high school. I had lots of friends, was on the soccer and swim teams (mediocre athlete but lots of enthusiasm), went to parties, made good grades, and teachers liked me. I was on Homecoming Court, I was the Prom Queen, and my senior superlative was Best Personality. But I was also the only one of my friends who never really had a boyfriend, definitely not one that was older and/or long term, like the girls I ran around with. I was the eternal wing man to my girlfriends, always the buddy to the guys. I once had a friend tell me her boyfriend thought I was a lesbian. I had an eating disorder. I was in therapy. I was constantly worried about everything. My life wasn't perfect then and it's not perfect now.
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This just in: This shirt was probably one of the reason I wasn't getting any dates. Not to mention I need some bangs, stat. |
It is funny how most of us identify “our era” as what was popular when we
were high school. One evening last summer my friend and I were the two moms in
tankinis at the pool rocking to the 90’s station while wee 15 year olds stared,
promising each other that they would never be old. But hearing those songs, I was back
at the lake in a two piece, drinking beer and talking about boys. I still judge
everyone’s age by the year they graduated from high school (I was class of ’97).
I still love Birkenstocks and 90210. I suppose my coming of age years are more ingrained in me than I thought.
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Finally figured out how to dress like a girl. And throw on a little makeup. You are welcome, world. |