Thursday, May 15, 2014

Life Ain't Easy. Ever.

We have two kids now. That is twice the laundry, twice the attention needed, twice the work. And it's not easy. It's manageable and we are not falling apart, but at the end of most days, I feel like I have given all I have to give. And the amazing thing is, I felt like that a lot when I had just one child. I even can remember feeling like that back when I had no kids and a full time job. You know what that says to me? It's all hard. No matter what we are doing, it is hard and we are tired, and everyone should be treated as such. Life is life. We are all doing our best every day to survive. 

I think it is so easy for people with more the one kid to look at families with just one child and say, "they have no idea how easy they have it. It's two on one. They can tag out when they can't take it anymore. It is so much harder with two." And I promise for every couple with two saying that, there is a couple with three or more saying the same thing about the family with two. And the parents of the singleton are looking at the ones with no kids that are working full time jobs and saying basically the same thing. It is human nature to think we have it harder than the next guy. But I don't really think that is true. The saying "life ain't easy" is a saying for a reason. Cause it for real ain't easy. It is messy and hard and we are all going through trials and situations that add stress to everyday toughness. 

I was talking to a mom friend and we were discussing the fact that she and her husband had  made a decision to do no screen time for their son until he was two. I was commending her, and said that was out the window as soon as we realized our child loved TV and would sit and watch a whole episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when she was one, giving me a whole 26 minutes to actually do something.  She said, "but it is easy for me to do because I am not working from home like you." And my comment back to her was this..."it is hard to be a work from home mom, but nothing we as moms do is easy. It's all hard in different ways." 

We should all stop judging each other and appreciate that we are all in different spaces. And every space has hard parts and easy parts. I am just as guilty as the next person of thinking how much harder my life is than the next person's. But it really isn't. Just remember, even Beyoncé and Jay Z have the moment where they decide, do I let her watch another episode of Mickey Mouse? Just one more so I can breathe for a second? Even famous people and rich people and people who rule the world have to make choices and decisions and are doing the best they can.

So go ahead and pat yourself on the back. You are doing a great job. Sure, you mess up sometimes. You yell when you should take a deep breath. You give them cake when they should be eating an apple. You remember back to the easier times, and wish just for one second that it was 2003 again and the biggest decision of the day was who was going to pick up dinner. And that's okay. Remind yourself that every day is hard for everyone. Cause no matter who you are, life ain't easy, friends. 



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